Depression and Your Child by Deborah Serani

Author:Deborah Serani [Serani, Deborah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2013-11-17T05:00:00+00:00

7

My Child Is Diagnosed, Now What?

Now that you’ve learned how pediatric depression is diagnosed and what treatments are recommended, let’s detail more about what comes next. In this chapter, you’ll understand just what psychotherapy will and won’t do for your child—and what you, as a parent, need to do to make treatment successful. The truth about medication for child depression will be presented as well, and ways to deal with stigma will be explored. My goal for this chapter is that you will develop realistic expectations for treatment and are able to separate fact from sensational fiction.

What to Expect from Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy cannot be successful unless your child wants to be there. Studies show that forcing your child into psychotherapy is never a good idea.1 It’s true that talk therapy will reduce depressive symptoms, but your child may not agree. Some kids view psychotherapy as “boring,” “stupid,” and “pointless”—or feel the smack of stigma that wrongly portrays talk therapy being only for “crazy” or “demented” people. Sometimes children feel trapped into coming for an appointment. Out of concern and love, parents force children and teens into therapy before they are ready. The problem is this: If your child feels coerced into going to therapy, the helplessness from depression worsens. Children can feel resentful, angry, and certain that no one is truly hearing them. It’s important to know that a therapist might rework the session to give the decision-making power back to the child if coercion is detected. This is not done to challenge your role as the parent, but to give your child the control and choice needed for therapy to work.

Psychotherapy will not fix your child. Your child will fix himself. The job of a psychotherapist is to help your child help himself. Think of the Chinese proverb: “Give a man a fish; you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish; you feed him for a lifetime.” In therapy, your child will learn how to use skills to kick depression to the curb. Through self-awareness, your child will develop ways to detect triggers, shift negative thinking styles, and manage mood fluctuations. The goal of psychotherapy is not advice giving—in which the child becomes dependent on the therapist to “tell him how to solve this.” The purpose of talk therapy is to create skill building, through which your child resolves how to use the techniques, when to use them, where to use them, and which ones work best. From this unique experience come resiliency and independence.

Psychotherapy may not always make your child feel better. When children make the decision to go to therapy, most of the time it will be a fun and enjoyable experience. Children enjoy having this special time, when their thoughts, interests, and feelings take center stage. There are, however, times when sessions may rub up against a delicate subject, making your child irritable or even upset. Growth involves risks and shifts, as well as facing difficult thoughts and feelings. All of this can be scary for children.

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